Q: How long were you a meth addict?
A: Since I was about seventeen, so for over ten years.
Q: What brought you into the addiction?
A: Well, at first, I didn’t think much of people who did hardcore drugs. I was mostly into weed, and some of the smaller scale stuff. But then, it became a matter of who was tough enough to try the hard stuff.
Q: So, you’re saying that peer pressure challenged how strong you were based upon how “hard” the drugs were?
A: Absolutely. I mean, I still did it. I still take responsibility for everything I did. But, on the other hand, I wanted to do it for different reasons than the reasons I ended up doing it for later.
Q: What changed your behavior from drug abuse to addiction?
A: The drug itself changed everything. I started getting real paranoid about everything, quit my job, didn’t see my family the same way at all. I still don’t. The whole thing messed me up real bad. My brain started thinking differently than it did before.
Q: You mentioned not seeing your family the same way. What do you mean by saying that you still don’t?
A: I forgot my personality. I don’t remember who I used to be or how I used to think. My brain has essentially been wiped clean of emotional memory. It’s real bad. My wife says she doesn’t recognize me anymore. She likes the new me, since I’m not using anymore, but I’m not the same guy she fell in love with twenty years ago.
Q: If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be?
A: I don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything you can tell a kid to scare him bad enough to never do that. It’s always been that way, that I know of. I can’t think of anything that I could say to the younger me to get me to stop or to never do it.
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